I Met My Husband on a Matrimony Site. Its like Tinder (but for marriage!)
Yep. And We Decided to Get Married in Five Days.
After spending most of my twenties waiting for magic to happen, waiting to find love organically, I decided to embrace the tools of this digital age, and go make a profile on one of the apps. Except I did not choose Tinder or Bumble (at least not this time), I chose Shaadi.com, Jeevansathi, IIMIITMatrimony, and the likes of those. I wanted to find someone with the same intent as mine, the intent to find companionship for life!
And then this screenshot you see here? Our first WhatsApp chat.
Anyway, cut to: We talked. Five days. On Day 5, on one of our calls, we said the THREE MAGIC words to each other, and as they say the rest is history. Bear in mind, owing to the lockdown, we haven’t met each other yet, just WhatsApp Video Calls (and butterflies).
We saw each other for the very first time 1 month before our marriage, and one day before our ROKA. Yes, Roka. For my non-Indian (and some Indian) friends: A Roka is basically the Indian version of going “You’re officially off the market.” It’s the pre-engagement ceremony where two families meet, exchange ladoos, sarees, take 200 photos on phones, and freeze the match.
Moments after our Roka (the second time we met)
Did I panic? Absolutely. Did I sleep the night before? Barely. I still remeber holding my sister’s hands and launghing uncrollably moments before I was to see Abhimanyu for the first time. The butterflies in my stomach manifested in trembles and laughter!
Was I certain? Weirdly, yes. My gut was confident even though my brain was screaming “WHO DOES THIS?!”
Fast-forward 5 years from that Roka day and here I am, still looking at him thinking,
“Thank God I didn't listen to the part of my brain that wanted to wait around for a Netflix/ Instagram/ Bollywood style rom-com meet-cute.”
Choosing Who You Marry Matters More Than Buying a House or Choosing a Career
A friend once told me, “The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry.” At the time, I rolled my eyes and though I had life figured out. Today, older, wiser, and married to a man who is more happier than me when I am happy, I agree completely. Who you marry determines:
Your peace
Your growth
Your sense of humour u (my husband has taught me how to take jokes, which I was really bad at)
Your daily background noise (gentle encouragement or constant complaints)
Your Sunday mornings and your PMS meltdowns
Lifestyle and thinking are contagious. Marry someone who treats life like a team game, and you become a better teammate. Marry someone who thinks gender roles depend on time, place, convenience and not on your chromosome. I say this not because our marriage is perfect but because it is real and joyful and anchored in respect. And every day, I am grateful that I took that leap during peak banana-bread season.
What Makes Our Marriage Work: 5 Rules We Swear By
A taxi driver once told me he had been married for 47 years and I asked him his secret. He gave me two gems that I’ve kept forever. The rest I’ve learned from trial, error over the five years we have been together. Here they are:
1. Acceptance
Neither of us is perfect.
I am stone- cold while watch emo- romance movies, but I panic at the sight of a baby Spider and I have elite-level PMS. He? He could not multi- task if his life depended on it, and unlike me, he won’t put his clotes away until they look like a pile of trash. Sometimes has opinions on strangers, but won’t help me decide what to wear!
But we accept.
We forgive fast.
We overlook those traits that don’t come to us naturally, but are a part of other one’s innate personality, making them ‘THE ONE’ we fell in love with.
Marriage isn’t two flawless people coming together. It’s two flawed people choosing each other again and again.
2. Have Common Life Goals
This one is straight from my taxi uncle.
Love is cute.
Shared purpose is powerful.
You don’t need identical dreams but you need aligned direction. Retirement plan discussions don’t sound romantic at 27, but trust me, at 37 they sound like foreplay.
"Beach town retirement by 55?"
"Early brunch and long walks every day?"
Find someone whose future vision feels like a place you'd enjoy living in, not escaping from.
3. Fall in Love Again and Again
The cheesy Bollywood idea that you “fall in love once” is honestly… marketing.
Real marriage?
You fall in love, then you get annoyed, then you remember why you chose them, then you fall in love again, then you argue about dishwasher loading philosophy, then you fall in love again.
Love isn't a permanent state handed to you at the wedding. It’s a cycle. A rhythm. A daily practice of rediscovering each other even when routine tries to smother romance like a soggy papad.
Challenge the monotony.
Do something new.
Laugh at silly things.
Text each other flirty nonsense.
Make plans. Break routines. Hold hands even when the world feels rushed.
4. Mandatory Morning Hugs
We hug every morning before checking phones, before opening laptops, before life interrupts.
That 10 seconds of warmth hits the reset button.
It's grounding. It reminds us: I’m your home. You’re mine.
Try it. Even when you’re annoyed at each other. Especially then.
5. Don’t Do Everything Together
Controversial but true.
We don't watch every show together.
He has his things, I have mine.
He watches cheesy Bollywood over and over again, and I scroll IG for market research all the time!
We overlap intentionally, not forcefully. Space makes closeness richer.
Five Years Later…
Marriage didn’t turn me into a soft gooey romantic. But it did make me grateful, grounded, and constantly amused at how life plots better than any screenplay.
I met a man online.
Trusted my gut.
Took a leap.
And built a life that feels like the right mix of chaos and comfort, banter and peace, individuality and team spirit.
To anyone reading this wondering about love, marriage, timing, or apps…
Sometimes the universe works in messy, unexpected ways.
And sometimes, the WhatsApp “Hey” that sounds utterly boring… turns into your favourite story.
I only want to leave you with one thought-
it is not about finding THE ONE, but making it work with THE ONE YOU CHOOSE. Nobody will be perfect, neither are you, but overlooking minor traits and lowering your expectations will make you happier, and a good relationship will be a natural outcome to your inner peace and happiness.
Bonus: Fighting Rules
People say “never go to bed angry.” Cute but sometimes unrealistic. If it’s 2 AM and emotions are doing garba, the brain is not present. We sleep on it. And when we wake up, we are both feeling ridiculous for being dramatic and blowing things out of proporting the night before. We make up instantly, and at times if need be, we introspect, communicate and pay attention to what we did unknwoingly, which caused each other to feel poorly.
But yes, if it's 7 PM? A walk usually solves 90 percent of arguments. Fresh air is magic.
